The fine print
Terms of Vanity
1. The product
A donation to The Top Donor buys exactly one thing: placement of a name on a public list, ranked by amount, for the Amsterdam calendar month in which it was paid — plus a lifetime title at the published thresholds, and a certificate page. The placement is delivered the moment your payment completes — unless your name or message trips the decency filter (§4), in which case a human steward looks before it shows. That is the entire product.
2. Not a charity
This is not a charitable fundraise, and nothing here is tax-deductible. Proceeds fund the independent work of Sven Jense, a Dutch systems scientist (svenjense.com). Prices include VAT where applicable.
3. Payments & refunds
Payments are processed by Stripe and are final, since the product (placement) is delivered immediately. Two exceptions, offered gladly: we will refund any donation of €1,000 or more within 24 hours of payment on simple request, no questions asked; and we will refund any payment made in genuine error. Write via svenjense.com. Refunded donations leave the board.
4. Names, messages, conduct
Names and messages are public. We hold back and may remove anything hateful, unlawful, impersonating, or spammy (including links) — without refund of placement display, since moderation is part of keeping the board worth standing on. Impersonating a real person or institution gets the entry removed. Found categories follow the same rules. The moderator’s judgment is final and exercised with good humour.
5. Seasons & the crown
Boards rank cumulative paid donations per Amsterdam calendar month. Whoever stands first when the month ends is recorded permanently in the Hall of Monarchs. Ties break in favour of whoever reached the sum earlier. Refunds and removals can change standings; the board shows the truth as currently known. The dethronement notice is sent only to those who asked for it, and only when it happens.
6. Patronage
The Patron subscription (€3/month) buys a verified mark beside your name while the subscription is active. Cancel anytime through the Stripe receipt links; the mark fades at the end of the paid period. Patronage confers no rank.
7. Privacy
We store what you see on the board (name, message, amount, time) plus the email address from your payment — used for your receipt and, only if you opted in, the dethronement notice. No analytics, no trackers, no cookies for visitors (one functional cookie exists for the site’s moderator). One small honesty: if you arrived via one of our advertisements, the ad’s campaign tag rides along inside your own checkout so we can tell which jokes work — it lives in your browser tab only and is never sent anywhere else. We never sell or share your data. To have your entry or your email removed, write via svenjense.com — removal of a published rank is at your request, and granted.
8. No promises
Being The Top Donor confers no rights, privileges, or virtues — only the rank itself. The site may evolve, pause, or end; the Hall of Monarchs will be preserved as long as the site exists. These terms are governed by Dutch law.